Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Stefanie's LiveJournal:

Sunday, April 9th, 2006
10:04 pm	"Perilous times, difficult circumstances, tenuous situations, and heartrending trials form the crucible in which hope is tested, refined, purified, and proven. When everything natural tells us to give up and give in, hope springs from the eternal and tells us to hang in and hang on." ~ Johnnette Benkovic People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. ~ Ramona L. Anderson "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." ~Helen Keller (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 25th, 2006
11:47 am	How To Say "I Love You" In Different Languages Language Translation -------- ----------- afrikaans --- Ek het jou liefe afrikaans --- Ek is lief vir jou alsacien --- Ich hoan dich gear amharic --- Afekrishalehou arabic --- Ana Behibak (to a male) arabic --- Ana Behibek (to a female) arabic --- Ib'n hebbak. arabic --- Ana Ba-heb-bak arabic --- nhebuk arabic --- OHIBOKE male to female arabic --- OHIBOKA female to male arabic --- OHIBOKOMA male or female to two males or two females arabic --- NOHIBOKE more than one male or female to female arabic --- NOHIBOKA m.t.o.m. or f. to male arabic --- NOHIBOKOMA m.t.o.m. or f. to two males or two females arabic --- NOHIBOKOM m.t.o.m. or f. to more than two males arabic --- NOHIBOKON m.t.o.m. or f. to more than two females arabic --- (not standard) arabic --- BAHIBAK female to male arabic --- BAHIBIK male to female arabic --- BENHIBAK more than one male or female to male arabic --- BENHIBIK m.t.o.m. or f. to female arabic --- BENHIBKOM m.t.o.m. or f. to more than one male assamese --- Moi tomak bhal pau basc --- Nere Maitea batak --- Holong rohangku di ho bavarian --- I mog di narrisch gern bengali --- Ami tomAy bhAlobAshi bengali --- Ami tomake bhalobashi. berber --- Lakh tirikh bicol --- Namumutan ta ka bolivian Quechua --- qanta munani bulgarian --- Obicham te burmese --- chit pa de cambodian --- Bon sro lanh oon cambodian --- kh_nhaum soro_lahn nhee_ah canadian French --- Sh'teme (spoken, sounds like this) cantonese --- Ngo oi ney catalan --- T'estim (mallorcan) catalan --- T'estim molt (I love you a lot) catalan --- T'estime (valencian) catalan --- T'estimo (catalonian) cebuano --- Gihigugma ko ikaw. chickasaw --- chiholloli (first "i" nasalized) chinese --- Wo ie ni corsican --- Ti tengu cara (to female) corsican --- Ti tengu caru (to male) croatian --- LJUBim te czech --- miluji te czech --- MILUJU TE! (colloquial form) danish --- Jeg elsker dig dutch --- Ik hou van jou dutch --- Ik ben verliefd op je ecuador Quechua --- canda munani esperanto --- Mi amas vin estonian --- Mina armastan sind estonian --- Ma armastan sind farsi --- Tora dust midaram farsi --- Asheghetam farsi (Persian) --- doostat dAram filipino --- Mahal ka ta filipino --- Iniibig Kita finnish --- Mina" rakastan sinua flemish --- Ik zie oe geerne french --- Je t'aime friesian --- Ik hald fan dei gaelic --- Ta gra agam ort galego (galicia) --- querote (or) amote german --- Ich liebe Dich greek --- s' agapo greek (old) --- (Ego) philo su (ego is only needed for emphasis) gujrati --- Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon. hausa --- Ina sonki hebrew --- Ani ohev otach (male to female) hebrew --- Ani ohev otcha (male to male) hebrew --- Ani ohevet otach (female to female) hebrew --- Ani ohevet otcha (female to male) hindi --- Mai tumse pyar karta hoo hokkien --- Wa ai lu hopi --- Nu' umi unangwa'ta hungarian --- Szeretlek hungarian --- Szeretlek te'ged icelandic --- Eg elska thig indonesian --- Saja kasih saudari indonesian --- Saya Cinta Kamu indonesian --- Saya cinta padamu indonesian --- Aku cinta padamu irish --- taim i' ngra leat italian --- ti amo (if it's a relationship/lover/spouse) italian --- ti voglio bene (if it's a friend, or relative) japanese --- Kimi o ai shiteru japanese --- Watakushi-wa anata-wo ai shimasu javanese --- Kulo tresno kannada --- Naanu Ninnanu Preethisuthene kannada --- Naanu Ninnanu Mohisuthene kiswahili --- Nakupenda klingon --- qabang klingon --- qaparHa' (depends where in the galaxy you are) korean --- Tangsinul sarang ha yo korean --- Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida korean --- No-rul sarang hae (man to woman in casual relation) korean --- Tangshin-ul sarang hae-yo korean --- Tangshin-i cho-a-yo (i like you, in a romantic way) kurdish --- Ez te hezdikhem (?) lao --- Koi muk jao latin --- Te amo latin --- Vos amo latin (old) --- (Ego) amo te (ego, for emphasis) latvian --- Es milu tevi (Pronounced "Ess tevy meeloo") lingala --- Nalingi yo lisbon lingo --- gramo-te bue', chavalinha lithuanian --- TAVE MYLIU (ta-ve mee-lyu) lojban --- mi do prami luo --- Aheri macedonian --- SAKAM TE! madrid lingo --- Me molas, tronca malay --- Saya cintamu malay --- Saya sayangmu malay/Indonesian --- Aku sayang enkow malay/Indonesian --- Sayah Chantikan Awah malayalam --- Njyaan Ninne' Preetikyunnu malayalam --- Njyaan Ninne' Mohikyunnu. mandarin --- Wo ai ni marathi --- me tujhashi prem karto (male to female) marathi --- me tujhashi prem karte (female to male) mohawk --- Konoronhkwa navaho --- Ayor anosh'ni ndebele --- Niyakutanda norwegian --- Eg elskar deg (Nynorsk) norwegian --- Jeg elsker deg (Bokmaal) (pronouncedyai elske dai) osetian --- Aez dae warzyn persian --- Tora dost daram polish --- Kocham Cie polish --- Ja cie kocham portuguese --- Amo-te portuguese (brazilian) --- Eu te amo punjabi --- Mai taunu pyar karda. romanian --- Te iu besc russian --- Ya vas liubliu russian --- ya liubliu tebia russian --- ya tebia liubliu russian --- Ya polyubeel tebya. scot Gaelic --- Tha gra\dh agam ort serbian --- LUBim te. serbocroatian --- volim te shona --- Ndinokuda sinhalese --- Mama oyata adarei sioux --- Techihhila slovak --- lubim ta slovene --- ljubim te spanish --- Te quiero spanish --- Te amo srilankan --- Mama Oyata Arderyi swahili --- Naku penda (followed by the person's name) swedish --- Jag a"lskar dig swiss-German --- Ch'ha di ga"rn syrian/Lebanes --- BHEBBEK (to a female) syrian/Lebanes --- BHEBBAK (to a male) tagalog --- Mahal kita tamil --- Ni yaanai kaadli karen (You love me) tamil --- n^An unnaik kAthalikkinREn (I love you) tcheque --- MILUJI TE^ telugu --- Neenu ninnu pra'mistu'nnanu telugu/india --- Nenu Ninnu Premistunnanu thai --- Ch'an Rak Khun thai --- Phom Rak Khun tunisian --- Ha eh bak * turkish --- Seni seviyo*rum (o* means o) ukrainian --- ja tebe koKHAju (real true love) ukrainian --- ja vas koKHAju ukrainian --- ja pokoKHAv tebe ukrainian --- ja pokoKHAv vas urdu --- Mujhe tumse mohabbat hai vietnamese --- Em ye^u anh (woman to man) vietnamese --- Toi yeu em vietnamese --- Anh ye^u em (man to woman) vlaams --- Ik hue van ye vulcan --- Wani ra yana ro aisha welsh --- 'Rwy'n dy garu di. welsh --- Yr wyf i yn dy garu di (chwi) yiddish --- Ich libe dich yiddish --- Ich han dich lib yugoslavian --- Ya te volim zazi --- Ezhele hezdege (sp?) zuni --- Tom ho' ichema zulu --- Ngiyakuthanda! Explanation of Languages Afrikaans -> People of Dutch heritage in south Africa. Alsacien -> french/german dialect (live in france, but speak like german) Assamese -> language spoken in the state of Assam, India Batak -> North Sumatra province of indonesia Bavarian -> Southern state of Germany (actually a German dialect) Bengali -> language spoken in the state of West Bengal, India, as well as almost all people of BANGLADESH Bicol -> Philipin dialect Cebuano -> language spoken in philipino near the town of Cebu Chickasaw -> Native American spoken in southeastern Oklahoma. Friesian -> they speak the language in Northern Holland in Northern Germany and in some parts of Denmark mainly west coast Gaelic -> Irish Gujrati -> language spoken in the state of Gujrat, India Hindi -> language spoken in the nothern states of India Hopi -> North American Indian Tribe (Southwest maybe?) Kannada -> Language of Karnataka a state in south India. Klingon -> Spoken in Star Trek Luo -> Kenya Malayalam -> language of Kerala State, India, Marathi -> This language is also from India from the state of Maharashtra of which Bombay is the capital. Mohawk -> North american Indian tribe (New England, maybe one of the Sven Nations/Iriquois) Navaho -> North american Indian tribe (southwest) Ndebele -> Zimbabwe Punjabi -> Northern India Quechua -> Quecha is a Mayan language Shona -> Zimbabwe Sinhalese -> Language of the non-Tamil (majority) people of Sri Lanka Sioux -> North American Indian tribe from the upper Midwest. Tagalog -> Filipino language Tamil -> language spoken in the state of Tamil Nadu, India and in Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, Mauritus .... Telugu -> southeastern state of India. (eleventh most spoken language in the world.) Urdu -> the language spoken in pakistan Vlaams -> Belgian Dutch Vulcan -> Spoken in Star Trek Zazi -> Kurdic dialect (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
12:40 pm	Quotations Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in sæcula sæculorum, Amen. I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar. I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. In every mind there is a sweet symphony of untold stories. Poetry, and art, and music are the skillful rendering of these dreams into reality. My love, forgive me for who I was, what I did, and what I cannot change. Love me now for who I can be, and what I plan to accomplish. If you can't, then just love me because my heart loves you, unconditionally. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. 'We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.' (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
3:39 am	Maybe God is trying to tell me something? First, I want to say that February 28th was my last day of attending school for awhile. I had been having problems with my online class. I had to work with a group and the people in my group were in other states and different time zones. I had warned my teacher ahead of time that I was having problems with my group members not turning thier work in on time. So, as of now I'm going to fail my class because of my group members but I did do all of my work and turned every bit of it on time. Second, I need a break from school and this was the last straw. I don't plan on returning to the college I was attending but I do plan on continuing my education one day. Third, I have been dealing with alot of issues lately. I'm not going to go into detail on them. But, what I will say is that I have been under alot of stress lately. Most of this is due to school but some of it is due to things happening in my family. Fourth, I also have to admit I have been angry at God for about six months now maybe longer. My faith isn't what it used to be and the reason for this is because something that happened to me that I don't like talking about much. This issue I'm dealing with has been eating me up inside for atleast two years but hs gotten worse over the last six months. But, the last few weeks it has been lifted off of me to the point where it doesn't cause me to have panic attacks or flashbacks anymore. This has been such a huge relief for me. Fifth, I have been going through alot of spiritual changes lately. I have noticed that when something bad happens I don't ask why did this happen...I say to myself maybe God has a bigger plan and I don't know it yet. So, instead of getting angry and upset like I used to I am fine with it. Sixth, Another thing I have noticed is that some of my spiritual gifts I have are coming in full force lately. But, instead of fearing them I'm welcoming them like I never have before. I find myself ready to use them to do God's will. Seventh, I feel like something is about to happen to me and I don't mean something bad. I feel like whatever is around the corner is going to change my life in a major way. But, instead of me fearing this I can't wait for whatever it is. Through I will say I think I have an idea of what it is. (Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
8:42 am	Dealing I have realized lately that I have grown away from God. I blame him for what happened to me. I just don't understand why he didn't prevent my ex from touching me. Why didn't God protect me? I feel so alone even when I'm in a room full of people. This was made clear to me on Saturday when I was at my nephew's birthday party and hardly anyone said a word to me. I feel like I'm hanging from a cliff with people around looking at me but yet no one offers thier hand to help me up and my hands just keep slipping. I feel like I'm going to fall over the cliff soon and then nothing will matter anymore. Why can't anyone see this? Why can't people see that the light in me is going out? Where are you God? You said you would never leave nor forsake me so why do I feel alone? (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
2:14 pm	Quotes "Words seemed to make it visible. But, speaking, even when it embarrassed me, also slowly freed me from the shame I felt. The more I struggled to speak, the less power the rape, and its aftermath, seemed to have over me." Nancy Raine, After Silence: Rape and My Journey Back, 1998 Traumatized people suffer damage to the basic structures of the self. They lose trust in themselves, in other people, in God...The identity they have formed prior to the trauma is irrevocably destroyed. Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery, 1992 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
12:44 pm	Having a hard time. I said no, I told him to stop! He didn't stop! No matter what I do I can't get the feeling of being dirty to go away, no matter how many baths or showers I take, no matter how long I sit in the shower and break down with the water as hot as it can get, I feel like I can never be clean unless I peel my skin off and grow it brand new. Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 28th, 2006
10:40 pm	Afraid Here it is about the time I go to bed but I'm scared once again because I know what is coming. I can't sleep anymore without the memories coming back or having to experience the nightmares. I don't want to see him when I close my eyes but I do, I don't want him haunting me in the middle of the night but he always does, I just can't seem to get rid of him. If such a thing as wiping your memories of a certain person were possible, I would certainly do it. Current Mood: depressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
6:49 pm	My feelings I am so tired of hiding how I feel. Everyone excepts me to be this sweet, caring person but no one knows that I am screaming inside. I am the one everyone turns to when they need an uplift. But, I feel like I have no one to comfort me when I need a shoulder to cry on. I am being pulled in so many directions that I'm about to be no use to anyone. I can't be the witness God wants me to be. This is why I'm afraid to get too close to anyone. I will just drag them down instead of lifting them up like I'm supposed to do. I can't put another's soul in peril when I'm terrified for my own. I need you Jesus! I keep feeling that I should give in to the darkness so I can find the light inside. Could it be that the light is the dark and the dark is the light? Lord, are you trying to tell me something? I am having a hard time coping with what has happened to me. I break down atleast once a day if not more. Last night I broke down before I went to bed and ended up crying myself to sleep. Thier are times I just feel like I want to give in and give up. I know I have friends who I can call but I just can't bring myself to call them when I need to. I would rather talk to somebody in person then over the phone just incase I need someone to hold me while I break down. (2 Comments |Comment on this)